A bit ago they give me the money to go to Switzerland and Germany and eat the food and sleep in some beds far away from the skirting boards I am still shirking dusting, even after my warning. I made a bunch of posters to send out of the country because I felt a great importance as I snipped the stuff and blue tacked it down. Fortunately, there weren't many gigs, so I asked the internet what was happening in November 2016. 

 Le Guess Who? Festival said the internet. 

So I added it to the poster in the hope that in the summer of 2018 they would ask me to play it and them three days I spent in August fretting about which trains to book to Utrecht wouldn't be yet another way I have avoided doing my tax return the whole ruddy summer. 

Upstairs of this means that I am playing a performonce at Le Guess Who? on the 11th of November. Basement to this is a greater detail of the account is broken Mr Wynn, I think you owe us money.

A nice man called Jacob informed me that there was a 'punk minded area' and that I would be welcome there. I said I didn't think I could come. He said that was okay. Then I was dancing to Bowie in the clinic when all the nurses were home relaxing or arguing, and I thought, 'Markie, you like the boogie. And you have never done the boogie in Utrecht. Now, that nice Jacob man, he asked you if you could come. And you said No. Why is this?' 

I had me there. And so the next day I asked if I could still come.

He said 'yes', then asked me for a bio and some high-res photos.

Oh for fucksake.

I did as I was told though, and promised not to tell anyone about it till September the 12th 2018.

It might look like this.

Or I might bring my guitar and it won't sound like this because I don't have the time to play with other people, or I can't afford to pay them, or i'm worried it wouldn't work..

This is off a thing that Desert Mine Music sent to the internet earlier this year, and I only just got round to sending it to the internet because i've been avoiding doing my tax return by putting the chips on the paper plates for the nanas at bingo.

'Can I have some more gravy on my cheese?'

Certainly. You've earnt it.